let us go

I can remember growing up tall. Before volleyball came into my life as a means to explain why on earth a girl would be so tall (it was my choice after all), I owned property in the back row of pictures, spent hours looking for cute shoes with no heel, and felt as if I was constantly in the way of other tweens trying desperately to steady the boat of the status-quo.  Lately, those feelings of being in the way have resurrected in my life, but in the vertical relationship I have with God as opposed to the vertical human he created me to be.

I am a friend who asks a lot of questions. If you know me, most likely you’ve been on the receiving end of these bullet passes that come with force and maybe even make your hands hurt a little bit. I have a tendency to skip past the line of ‘too personal’ to truly get to the bottom of the heart God has made. I know that hard questions lead to conversation worth having. And if friends are transparent (and brave) enough to answer these questions in truth, I see God in that person in a way that allow the prayers I pray later to flow with an effortless ease.  One of the questions I like to ask most is, ‘What is God teaching you and how is he moving in your life lately?’  It’s one of the most revealing and illuminating truths any friend could answer. 

These questions are great. They deepen friendships and bring life to new relationships. They’re great, you see, until they get turned on me.  When pressed with the question, ‘How’s God moving in your life these days, Kris?’ I panicked to come up with the last time I allowed God to do the moving.

I have gotten in the way of the things God has wanted to do. I’ve gotten in the way of things God has wanted to say through me, and I have gotten in the way of prompts I know God has wished I would pursue because I, in my very natural imperfection, have been scraping, trying and working to be the best little servant God could’ve ever asked for. It’s as if I know there’s a distant diving board high above the sky that I’m sure will catapult me into the pool of God’s presence. So I climb and climb and climb the ladder in eager hope of one day reaching the high board that will launch me into the cool, refreshing water of his love.  All along, the savior of the world, in his perfect strength, gentle whispers and humbled brilliance has been watching me climb this ladder from the platform of the pool, tenderly inviting me to jump in to the same water without the sting of a sky-high belly-flop.

There are profound words in Hebrews that speak such life into my soul “let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts, fully trusting him…”

There is nothing more, nothing less for us to do on our end. Sincerity of heart and a tank full of trust allow us to enter into the most beautiful, absolute place with God. Waters that burst life into our bellies and strike purpose into our spirits can only come from Jesus. Only from the one that has been right there every time the tall girl stepped in front.  He parts it, turns it into wine, washes feet with it, and takes one last, bitter drink of it before glory is upon him. He is the living water and his presence is our thirst.  Let us go. Right into it.